Since we’re getting close to a holiday that many use to remember their god, I figure I would do the same. While I hope that you may feel His noodly appendages bless your life with yummy pasta goodness, let us look at some older gods.
Friday was named after Freya, the Norse goddess of sex, beauty, love, and fertility. She was awesome. She was beautiful, a leader, and she had a chariot pulled by cats! She owned an amazing necklace that was coveted greatly and a cool falcon feather cloak.
Back in the day, Friday was considered a lucky day. It was a day to get married, have children, plant crops, etc. This was all due to the blessings the goddess would grant on her day. Christianity, as it usually does, came along and corrupted all the goodness and joy this day one held. In an effort to bully other religions to make itself look better, the Christians began to denounce Freya as a witch and claimed that many misfortunes befell on this day. Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit on a Friday. The great flood happened on a Friday. And I’m sure Friday was the day Mary had her affair and lied about it. (As a side note, many plants in Scandinavia used to bear Freya’s name, but the Christians changed them to use Mary’s name instead.)
The Christians also declared Freya was a witch. They said that her cats, once they served her for 7 years, they would turn into witches disguised as black cats. It is also said that she came down to a group of witches who numbered 12 and gave them one of her cats. Since then, witches covens have had 13 members. This is also why Friday the 13th is considered an evil day.
So, my friends, go out and celebrate Friday the way it was meant to be! Go, have sex, and play with cats.