When you’re at the very bottom, the only way to go is up… right?

I wrote this big rant… and since I hate taking lots of space on friends list… I cut it all out. Click if you really care. 🙂

You know… I’m nearing the end of my first graduate class and I’m starting to get worried. The last couple weeks I was pretty sick. I think I had just caught the flu when they gave me the flu shot… and I think some nastiness had a party in my body and invited friends. I lost my voice for a couple days, was weak, and had a terrible cough. This didn’t help the research paper I’ve been working on. I kept telling myself not to procrastinate, but I don’t even like to listen to myself it appears. So now, it’s due in a few weeks and I’m no closer to being finished. (Well, I do have a lot of research done, so I guess the hard part is out of the way…) The real problem has been my inability to concentrate. I blamed it on the sickness, but I’m feeling a lot better now, and still can’t sit down and concentrate on my paper. I’m thinking I just need a good day off where I can lock myself in the office and just write. It is one of my better skills and I don’t mind doing it, so I should be ok… I just don’t like deadlines glaring at me.

Work has been as horrible as usual. Not to say that it’s difficult or tiring, it’s just sucking my soul dry. I have 15 months left until I’m out of the military… (Check my profile for the exact days left. 😉 That will be six years. While, unlike almost everyone else I see in the military, I am working hard to better myself for my future, I’m getting NO experience that can help me in the real world. Every day, I have to go to my classes and look at questions such as “How does xxxx work in your company?” This week it’s software maintenance and object oriented programming/design. Well, since I’m the ONLY person in the class not in the computer industry, I have no clue how Object Oriented design works in the Air Force. What, they build cars so if something breaks you can just replace that object and you’re good to go! **dies** yea, I hate my job. My school just seems to rub it in too. Every day I read how OTHERS do things in at their jobs. One other student works for EA Games as the lead tools programmer. It makes me cry every time I read how things are run in the industry. Some day I’ll be doing something… assuming my lack of experience doesn’t bite me in the ass.

But instead, I sit here making sure the wing commanders car is clean and the busses are ready for the next day. Today, since we’re short manned due to the holidays, I had to drive a bus around the flightline to move people around. I wanted to cry.

Things at home aren’t too bad. Tina and I still are having some problems, but they’re slowly going away. I think we both need to get past each others mistakes and learn to trust each other better. As long as we can learn from our mistakes and past problems, we should be all right in the future. It’s been even more difficult since she’s been in this play. (And even worst since I’ve gotten her sick… I just hope she’s better before opening night. It would be a disaster if he lost her voice the night before or something like that..) With her new job, she normally comes home for less than a hour before going to rehearsals. After rehearsals, I’m normally leaving for work right as she gets home… so basically we don’t get to see each other. It has been making us value our time together a little more though. That’s been nice. Only a couple more weeks of the play too. (Until the next one does anyway.)

And finally… perhaps the real reason I’ve been neglecting school/family so much… *blush* I do like my games. Final Fantasy XII is AWESOME! The license system they’ve used to assign skills to each other works flawlessly. It allows you to completely customize your characters! You can literally make ANYONE the main warrior/healer/hybrid. You could basically, if you took the time, make it so they were all equally masterful in all aspects… but it would take a LONG time. The story has been really well written as well. Cinematic are beautiful. I couldn’t ask for anything more. I’m at the point where I can do all the side-quests before finishing the game, so I’ve been slacking off in it. (Not to mention my other responsibilities.) But I’ll finish it soon. Once I write my paper.. yea.. that’s it…

Also, I finally reached 60 on my druid in World of Warcraft. (For those who don’t play, it’s the highest level at the moment.) I thought that this would pretty much make playing worthless but it actually gave me a somewhat renewed interest to do certain quests. We’ll see how long that lasts. The new expansion will be fun as well.

Anyway… I’ll get back to my paper. Sadly, if this was my paper, I would be a quarter of the way done. Meh….

Thanks for reading… and all that jazz… 🙂

About Matthew Jones

Writer, Programmer, Astronomer, Dreamer, Wisher, Fighter. Always striving to be better than I was.
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