Wal-Mart Has It All
Coming to a store near you.
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,” My
elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.”
“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wall-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.”
So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wall-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.
He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.” Thank you for shopping @ Wall-Mart.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.
Joe hurries back to Wall-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
Thank you for shopping @ Wall-Mart
- @ August 13, 2004 4:48 am