Really bad Wal-Mark joke :P


Wal-Mart Has It All

Coming to a store near you.

One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike behind him,” My
elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor.”

“Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” Mike replies. “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Wall-Mart. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars…a lot cheaper than a doctor.”

So Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Wall-Mart. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample.

He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer
ejects a printout: “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.” Thank you for shopping @ Wall-Mart.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample for good measure.

Joe hurries back to Wall-Mart, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9)

2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7)

3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

Thank you for shopping @ Wall-Mart

About Matthew Jones

Writer, Programmer, Astronomer, Dreamer, Wisher, Fighter. Always striving to be better than I was.
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