Time has been passing, yet still I feel the same. I’ve been studying harder, trying more to become better at Arabic, but I end up still confused. I am doing better in class, but these sessions of staying up until twelve thirty in the morning don’t help at all in the classroom. Also, they assign us homework that takes forever to complete, which means I don’t study anything. It’s all so useless… I think it’s still too early to hold a verdict for the rest of my time here, but we’ll see. I have until September 10th to be ready for the test. I have a tutor now, and actually go to study hall, so lets see if it helps. I’ll keep hoping.

Todays been more stressful than most as of late… I did really well in class until lunch, and then after lunch, the Sergeant in class seemed to be mad or something, because he preceded to make my life hell. Called me down on some things, ignored me, or just told me to shut up. I don’t know how I’m supposed to learn in this atmosphere, but they apparently think I should… After class, I did the so called ‘hard-core’ PC (Physical Conditioning). Lots of fast running and tough exercises. There are only about 8 of us who do it, and it does wear you out quite quickly, but I enjoy it. I feel in better shape than I have in a long time…
After PC I went to Drill and had a good time. Spent most of it with Yea working on Cross Columns and stuff. I did try some new spins… (one where you spin it like five times really fast…) and happened to drop the rifle just right so it bounced and cut my leg open. So I’ll prob be limping for a bit, but it’s all good. I’ll be more careful.
Well, after Drill, I went to the dayroom and watched Simpsons to take my mind off stuff, and well… My friend Mike and his girlfriend were there and I spent the whole time making it a point not to look at them. It just made me remember how alone I am right now… After that I went to the chow hall to eat and ended up eating with Steve and Rhonda… Rhonda I think feels bad for me, and says she wants to hook me up with someone, but I don’t think she understands that I don’t want anyone like that… Just friends for now. Just someone to talk to. She said she’s forcing me to go ‘out’ with them on Saturday, so I don’t know whats happening… *sigh* Guess we’ll see…
As for people to talk to… I haven’t talked to Aubree since I removed her from my list except for once when she called me a liar and a jerk and then either logged off, or blocked me… I’m guessing the second. Her mom told my brother that she (her mom) still loves me but by the looks of it, I doubt I’ll ever see either again. It looks like our friendship is over for good. *sigh*
I did get to talk to Nagi however… she cheered me up alot. I’m glad she’s around. I would prob be trying hard to forget I was still alive if not for her. (Thats not a suicide threat! I mean it as I would just sit around and do nothing all day…)
Anyways, to top off my day, our homework assignment was to write about our education. Well, I decided to use it to write about how bad mine is with them putting me in arabic instead of Chinese and how stupid everyone is. I’m looking forward to see how the teachers take it.
Anyways, I just want to print a poem I found in my notebook. I found it and started reading it to Nagi, and then on the second to last line realized I actually wrote it about her in class like last week. It was kinda humourus. I don’t think it’s the greatest thing, but it’s ok.

One step I take and I stand one step closer
One step more yet a million still to make
Distance causing doubt and fear
Even still, the next step I take

One more heart beat and a second ticks by
One more reason to question myself why
Time and distance keep me away
Yet nothing can keep my love at bay

Well… thats it… as a closing… I’m going to be teaching the Martial Arts Class on monday alone because Drexler (the 3rd degree black belt instructor) has a medical appointment. It’ll be fun I think.
Also, here is a picture of Takahashi, a friend of mine I talked about before.
Here is one with me at Present Arms. (Read: Saluting with Rifle)
And here is one with me at Port Arms.
Well, it’s like 1am and I need to be up in 5 hours. Goodnight guys. I hope I still keep some of you interested.
Matt

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ August 22, 2002 1:03 am