Today was mixed with boredom and fun. I woke up early because Aubree wanted me to take her job hunting at the mall. After looking around the only place she applied for was Victoria Secret, and due to the schedule she asked for, I doubt she’ll get it. (Every Friday/Saturday off..) After that I came back home and worked out some, did laundry and watched some Monty Python with my brother. In the middle of that Aubree called and wanted lunch, so I went to pick her up and took her to Wendy’s. (I had just eaten so I just sat there and watched her eat.. it was entertaining. 😉 Then I dropped her back off at work. I went home again, and started watching American Beauty. I’ve seen it a long time ago but I forgot a lot of it.

Once upon a time I wrote something about how this movie made me feel. I used to do that a lot.. about a lot of different movies. I had it saved on my hotmail, but accidentally it was deleted. I really hate myself for not making backups of that.

———————————– begin spoiler —————————————-
Anyways, the point of American Beauty is life. While it’s quite fucked up *laugh* it’s very true. But it always leaves me stunned afterwards. (Here’s the major spoilers.. if you haven’t see the movie first! This really gives a lot of it away.)
It’s about a man, who realizes his life is nothing. He goes to work, and does what he’s told. He doesn’t have his own path or soul really. Then, his daughter brings home a girl who acts like she likes him. He’s like surprised but due to that and some other circumstances, decides he’s going to make himself look and feel good again. He starts working out. He quits his job and then blackmails them for over $60,000 dollars. He takes charge of his life. And this gives you kinda a documentary on it while watching it unfold.
Some of my favorite scenes are where the one boy is playing the video of the plastic bag dancing in the wind. He talks about how there are times so magical, so beautiful, you feel that you just can’t take it in. Time when the feeling is so intense you just feel like your heart is going to explode. It really is so amazing. He also talks about filming a lady who froze to death, and the girl asks why? He replies something like, because it’s as if god is speaking to you, and if you look right, you can almost actually see god.
And at the end of the movie, where the dad is shot, you actually see him. He was happy. The quote he used was, “You know, they say that today’s the first day of the rest of your life. This is true for every day except one. The day that you die.” It has a way of making you realize how short life really is. How trivial things are like property. A couch is just a couch, even if it did cost $4,000 and was hand upholstered in Italy with Italian silk! It can be replaced! But love can’t. You can waste a day working just so you can get that pair of jeans you wanted, or so you can go out to eat some more… but if you spend that day working, you’ve lost it. The money you receive will most likely make another day more fun, but it’s still lost. Working is necessary, I agree. You need to have a place to live and food to eat. But if your going to work, make sure your doing something you love. To do anything else is cheating yourself out of something much more important. Life!
———————————— End Spoiler ———————————————

I can’t help but want to be with people I love. I want to be with Aubree every second I can. Not because I’m afraid I’m going to lose her soon, but because I know life is short. Soon I’ll be in the Air Force.. and I won’t be able to see her as much, but she’ll still be there. No.. the reason I want to be with her as much as possible is because I truly love her. I cherish that love and want it to last. I want it so show. I really don’t know if I’ll marry Aubree. I used to be almost certain, but now I’m not even close. We’re not together, so I know I’m going to date girls in the military, and what if I like one of them. With nothing to hold me back, I might fall for her because she’s close, and Aubree broke up with me and stayed home. There really is nothing against her doing that, but that’s what I feel is going to happen. I’m sad because of it, but I can’t do anything else.
It also hurts, but that’s a part of life as well. “Desire and regret, love and hate. Everything must have opposition.” At times I feel like she doesn’t want to be with me. I know she doesn’t, she’s told me so. She doesn’t want to spend every second together like I do. Today she said, “I’ll see you on Friday if I don’t get to talk to you tomorrow.” For some reason that felt like, “I need a day off so I’ll see you on Friday.” I really wanted to talk to her about this whole thing, but she wanted to sleep. I guess I just feel like I’m not important enough for her to care that much about. Well.. sometimes anyways. There are a few brief moments when I feel I’m the only person in the world for her… and those are what keep me going through the day. Those are why I keep going back for more, but I love her and she loves me… and sometimes, every now and then, she makes me feel like the most special person in the world. And that’s love. True love. … well.. I hope. True love normally lasts forever, with nothing getting in it’s way. I guess we’ll see if it can last the challenges of distance and time. I hate to say I have doubts, but we’ll see… I love her a lot… maybe she loves me as much.. and maybe that’s enough……. maybe….

Anyways, I did mention tomb raider. After picking Aubree up and taking her straight home, I went to Nicks and watched Tomb Raider.. (he had just bought the DVD.) I really have to say, after watching the commentary and stuff, I have a new found respect for Angelina Jolie. Aside from being beautiful and smart, she really does kick some ass! She went to military training, and was trained in like 10 different combat styles for the movie. She did all her stunts herself… the bungee ballerina, all the flips, rolls, etc. She trained for like 3 months before the movie even started shooting to get into shape and to learn how to shoot a gun, etc. Now, if she had only not married Billy Bob Thorton I would be happy. 😉 Actually, I can’t say that. They’re probably the greatest couple, and I don’t want to be another person posting about someone whom I know nothing about. She has my respect, and I hope that’s worth something.

Anyways, now that I spilled my heart in another edition of In the life of Matthew Jones, I’ll bid thee adieu. And I hope all of you got something out of this. Start living!
Matt

Also, to add a “Yo’s” page….
lady_arwen I love you, Aubree. Please realize that and stay strong for me. You really are a wonderful girl, don’t forget that.

kenna143 Have fun in Japan! And don’t forget those pictures. Also, when people visit the states from Japan, they always bring back omiyage! (Basically souvenir.) One thing I want is a kotatsu (koh-TA-tsu). (A kotatsu is basically a low table with an electric heater inside it. You pick up the top of the table, which is removable, and put a blanket (futon) over the table, then place the tabletop on top of the blanket. Stick your legs in the kotatsu, and you’ll be as warm as you like.) Nanchatte! (just kidding) Just get pictures and I’ll be happy. 🙂

doubleonegative Stay strong girl! Life has good and bad. Keep your friends, and keep true to yourself.

shippo Um.. You scare me. 🙂 No more blowing, flying shit, or other truly insane stuff. If you keep it up, I might have to rank you up there with Brain! *shudder* (Brain doesn’t read this, does he? Aigh!)

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Filed under: Uncategorized - @ November 15, 2001 5:34 am