This man began life like most people. He started out being carried because he was too young to walk. After a while he began to walk, both his hands holding one of his parents. In the joy of his youth, he walked like this, until suddenly, he watches his father walk away. Being young, he didn’t understand this, and he looked toward his mother for support. She smiled at him, and assured him that he was loved, and that things would be ok… and then she too left. Without the father there, she was required to spend all her time working to support the young man and his siblings. The path the young man walked on was a rough one… one that he worked hard to smooth out to help his younger siblings. Be became used to being alone. He never saw his parents, so it wasn’t hard for him to go on with his life when they took different trails that led them far away from him. He didn’t care when he was send off on his own. He was used to the rocky path. He was used to getting scraped by the falls, cut by the thorns, and stung by the nettle. It was his world, and he knew nothing else.
Then he came across a beautiful road. It was like nothing he saw before. As he stood looking down the road, he saw the most beautiful valley he had ever seen at the end of it. Here there were promises of love and beauty, so he started walking this path. He kept walking near the edges, getting a few cuts along the way, just because he knew not life without them… Pain was second nature to him. He could see the valley getting closer, yet he knew it would take him a long time to reach it… And no matter how much he dreamed, begged, or cried he still had the path to follow and nothing would move it to him.
After a while, he came to another fork in the road. The road looked much like the one he had traveled his life before, but with one exception… there was a girl there willing to hold his hand. He knew he cared for this girl, and while it was different from the girl he knew awaited in the valley, he felt her hand, and he could feel her love. In confusion he sat there looking at the valley and picturing the angel he imagined lived there.. and he looked upon this girl like himself who was holding his hand. With tears in his eyes, he gave up the trail leading to the angel and started walking the rocky grounds with the love he now held. The terrain doesn’t bother him, for he knows it, and he can be satisfied with it. He enjoys the love he has now, and he loves her back… walking a familiar trail, with someone holding his hand, as he remembers once long ago.
His heart still aches as he remembers the trail he left. He still hopes that this trail will lead him to that destination he followed faithfully for a time. He knows not what the future will bring, he only knows he loves two people, and walks with one because she’s there, while the other is still a little unknown to him. Still a dream at the end of a path he has yet to complete walking. He doesn’t know how long he’ll follow the current path, and he is sorrowful because of that as well. This young man, one who is so used to pain and heartbreak, one who bears it as something required to live, hurts even more because he knows that he will hurt one of the two… and perhaps both. Never before had he known this type of sorrow, and he is breaking because of it. He only knows that he left the dream for the company, and he walks forward because he’s not brave enough to look behind.
He keeps walking, wondering what the future will bring… wondering if things will ever turn out ok.
But for now, he looks forward, dreaming of the future…
And for now, I walk, to see what it’ll bring.
Can you love to people at once? ….
Can you be loved by two people at once? Yes.
Can you? Without anyone getting hurt? No. You can’t.
- @ July 15, 2001 3:39 am