Life moves on, but is it going where I want?

There is a big party tonight, and I don’t know exactly if I want to go. I’m not sure what kind of mood I’m in right now. Todays been a generally interesting… perhaps sad day. Aubree called me earlier telling me she had a new cell phone and I brushed her off. She told me I was being a jerk and hung up on me. I got a good laugh off that, but aside from seeing my cousin, and that, I haven’t laughed enough today. Hell, I almost cried! *sigh* I’ve never come that close to crying before… never that I recall anyways. I wonder whats happening to me.

I wonder if my dreams will come true or if I’ll start dreaming a new dream. Ahh well, I’m still going to keep trying. ‘Yume no Naka e’ as they always say, right? *sigh* Oh well… we’ll see.

Here’s a poem I wrote a while ago… I never gave it to her, but here it is.


Boku no tenshi
If an angel fell from heaven
And entered moral grasp
Would she in her beauty
Be to holy for me to clasp

Or if a goddess came to see
The world she thus blessed
Would I be able to look on her
without being depressed

But still I look and wait
And still I try to see
If she understand who I am
Or knows what she means to me

But my heart grows stronger
As it’s forced to wait alone
Perhaps the future will come
Before it turns to stone

Time comes slow, and still I wait
But I shall stay strong
For even if eternally I wait
For her that’s not too long.

~Matt

About Matthew Jones

Writer, Programmer, Astronomer, Dreamer, Wisher, Fighter. Always striving to be better than I was.
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