May Day

I had a fairly good night. Went to Morgans May Day party with Florian. I basically ended up talking to him the whole time. It’s not that I didn’t want to mingle or what not, but I felt mostly out of place. It actually reminded me of the parties Morgan threw when we were in High School. Everyone would just pile up in groups. I’m just didn’t feel comfortable crawling into a pile of people I barely knew. Sad, really. It meant that I usually just sat across the room with Florian (or after he left, alone) and watched. Maybe I should have just jumped in, but oh well. Can’t change who I am that quickly, I guess. I’m still not even used to being single and actually being allowed to do things like that as I wish. Pretty pathetic, eh? I think so.

Probably the worst part is that I actually met a girl whom I was actually interested in getting to know, but since she was always tied in with a group of other people I didn’t get to get her info. Maybe next party? Maybe not. Who knows.

I need to follow through with my plans to go to the gym and get myself back into shape. Hopefully that will increase my confidence and perhaps make me a little more desirable. 🙂

Oh well. I’m going to Santa Cruz in the morning, in seven hours to be exact, for a BBQ with Florian and a bunch of the other people. Maybe I can practice this whole socialize thing over again. 🙂

About Matthew Jones

Writer, Programmer, Astronomer, Dreamer, Wisher, Fighter. Always striving to be better than I was.
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